How Perfectionism Is Killing My Dreams. Do Not Let It Kill Yours Too

Warning: Perfectionism is terrible, and It’ll slay you and your productivity. Let me point out why.

The most uncomplicated definition of “Perfectionism” is a refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

Yes, of course, I’m a Perfectionist, and I have a grave problem with perfectionism.

It never was my intention to write things like this on my blog. Social media marketing and freelancing are my things but, “Helping others” is always at the base of everything.

So, why wouldn’t I write about things that I’ve had to face along the road?

You’ll see that people say perfectionism is not that serious. Somebody says little perfectionism helps to create the best piece.

I highly doubt that because I know what this perfectionism has already done to me. What I have already lost because of this.

In the beginning, you’ll feel like it is Ok to be a perfectionist but, it will get out of your control swiftly. That is the danger of this “health condition.”

I recognized these seven prominent “perfectionism behaviors” out of my life. If you could see these in you, it might be a sign.

1. Procrastinate

“I’ll do this tomorrow” is the most significant enemy of my life.

This applies to almost everything.

I have been waiting for years until I see the perfect time to start a blog. Until I write perfect English. Until I get the ideal time and the place to write. Until I become an expert in my niche. Until I learn to code and Wordpress.

Waiting is not over. I just lost the best time to execute. Now I know the perfect moment never comes until it is too late. So, create the best time. Do not wait for it.

You will never understand how anxiety grew when you knew you have already lost, only because of procrastination.

I have a few excellent topics in my mind, and I wanna write about those for years but, I never started.

I keep telling my mind that I would do it later. Later it became next month. Then it was next year. You do not even realize that you procrastinate.

See that is the problem I’m dealing with right now.

2. Never Rest

This is the most terrible thing happen to any perfectionist.

I never rest.

After I wrote something, I’m going back hundreds of times to edit it, add new things and even delete things.

Even if I published it, I always think that I could do a better job than that.

You know, I’m making hundreds of tiny modifications to my blog’s design every day. Yes, of course, nobody sees those tiny changes such as space between the lines, the number of characters in the excerpts, the font size of the topic, etc.

Modifications that I had performed only in the header area in this blog already consumed over 100 hours collectively. Believe me. I’m not exaggerating here.

I never rest until it comes out the way I want. I do not care if it is 3 am in the morning and do not hesitate to sacrifice my sleep time, my health or the money for the perfect outcome. I work.

Perhaps it’ll take 10 minutes to set up my whole blog because It is that much simple. It has no graphically appealing look or complicated design.

Hire someone from Upwork or Fiverr, and the freelancer would deliver within a few hours. Yes, I know.

This restless working on everything until it became “perfect” is a waste of time and energy. I could have invested that time and energy on much valuable work like writing articles for the blog.

3. Trust Nobody

I trust nobody.

Sometimes, I don’t understand why. I know they are as good as me, and they can do the task better than me but, never wanna trust and give them a chance.

The worst case is, this trusting issue is affecting terrible on people who are around me and who are willing to help me with everything.

I do not even trust my closest friends or sometimes even my sweet wife. Don’t take me wrong. This is not about keeping secrets or keeping my credit card number like trust.

I trust them with all my heart.

I just don’t want them to do things that I could do “better” and always feel like it is easier to do that by myself.

How disturbing, huh?

Keeping social connections is a nightmare while you trust nobody. I have lost too many cool people because of this perfectionism. They are not wrong at all. I would do the same.

4. Never Ask For Help

As high expectations of perfect work, I never ask for help.

As I mentioned before, I just don’t want to hire a freelancer to set up my blog because I know that I wouldn’t settle for their work.

Even if I hired an expert, I would spend the same amount of time to make that perfect as I want it to be.

Sometimes, asking for help feels like a weakness. I want nobody to see I’m a week or unable to perform the task by myself.

Yes, you would say, “no it is not a weakness.” That is why I told you this perfectionism is terrible and killing me. It is growing like cancer inside of your brain and difficult to notice until you come to the final stage.

Do not think twice to ask someone’s help. You might be able to do so much more with a little help from others. Even helpful words count.

5. Take Everything Too Seriously

Taking everything too seriously makes everything a lot harder.

I believe that there is a right way to do every business. All the other methods seem pretty wrong.

Other people do not have the same understanding or know about your mentality.  So, this is how conflicts and collisions begin.

First, you’ll feel proud of taking things too seriously. It makes you a unique and responsible person but, you lose more than what you get from it.

You lose the joy of life.

Don’t make things overcomplicated. Simplicity is the best. We do not have much time for all these troubles and deal with complicated matters.

6. Fear For Failures

“Good enough is good enough. Perfect will make you a big fat mess every time.”
– Rebecca Wells –

Fear for failures is the other side of the coin.

We can’t see that because we don’t understand the perfectionism well. Our mind is tricky no?

Let me take the same example here too. I have been waiting for years to write something on my blog because my English was not good enough. My writing is terrible. My stories are not good enough for publishing.

Even after I have written my best article ever, I have something to improve. So, it is never done.

I’m too afraid to be failed. I thought people would laugh at me.

Once, Jeff Goins said that Goins, Writer blog is his 9th one (If I’m wrong, please correct me). All the previous eight blogs were failed.

But, see where he is now. He is a best-selling author, and the blog is among the most notable blogs in the world.

What would happen if he had given up after trying one or two times? So, don’t be afraid to fail.

I can give you this advice because I have overcome that fear (of course not 100%). That is why I’m writing right now.

Sometimes, you just need to sit and write everything comes to mind. You may not be that good at writing. You’ll make hundreds of grammar and spelling mistakes.

So what?

Are you waiting until you’ve become a fantastic writer to write your piece? It is never going to happen.

Perfectionists are much more cautious to take risks than others because they think that people will judge them by their failures. You should take risks and do not expect approval from everyone.

7. Expect Perfection From Everyone

I never settle or satisfy.

So, isn’t it obvious I disappoint over 99% time?

You can expect perfection from all as much as you want but it is not happening at all. So, anger grows.

Lower your expectations. That is the key to happiness.

Even if I showed you a few symptoms, I still do not know how to overcome the issue entirely but, one thing I could say for sure. First, you have to be honest with yourself.

Nobody can show you precisely where you are and what is your mental condition right now. You are the master of your mind. So, you should know better.

Then you’ll be able to figure out your way to beat perfectionism.

Please take my advice because I was the worst and now I’m in a better place than I was a few years back.

I started with small steps.

Keep telling your mind that we all are humans and humans make mistakes. Therefore, It is better you prepare to see mistakes, not only others yours also and learn how to forgive.

Allow others to make mistakes and learn from them. We do not have to learn by doing it everything by ourselves. We do not have enough time for that.

Why not learn from others mistakes. You can transform the worst situation into the best.

And the most important thing is, do not expect perfection from everyone based on your standards. Understand that standards may vary from person to person.

Every person sets their standards based on many parameters such as their life goals, achievements, family background, culture, religion and many more.

You can’t set the standards for every person around you and expect them to play by your rules.

Understand that most of the stuff is out of your control.

Featured photo by Scott Webb

Comments (4)

  1. Brain Pundits
    • Nirodha Abayalath
  2. Malshani
    • Nirodha Abayalath

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